Pat Bateman

By Wilson Koewing

Are you capable of being humble?
No.
My pettiness defines me.
I need an alcohol IV
Barney Gumble.
Officer asking “are you sane?”
After pulling me over solo in the carpool lane.
Yes, I am, sir.
Just like to drive fast.
Windows down.
Blow my hair back.
Driving something to stare at.
Listen, I’m sorry.
There was a time I might have meant that.
7 years prior to 33 plus 4 minus 2.
I’m 75% cocaine, 20% water and 5% percent c*ck.
There was a time in America where I would have been applauded
1987 is when
That would have been it for me.
Like ScarJo in Matchpoint,
to arrive there with the virility of a conqueror.
People arguing over Saltburn
as the Heaven’s Gate people return.
Hardly a story.
Like most indie lit.
I’ve been here too long
Many thanks Foo Wong.
Swayze shouldn’t have died on the wave at Bells Beach.
All the moonshine in Carolin
I’ll consume in one fell sweep.
Swoop fell.
It’s clear y’all didn’t watch Sheryl Swoopes well.
Acting like Timothy Olyphant isn’t Josh Duhamel.
Gen Z kids removing 10 to describe their misfortunes.
It’s my
And y’all just accept it.
Overdosing on phones
Anything resembling hoping is gone.
I sentence us to death
via trailer park meth
Me?
grew up rougher than an elephant’s chest
Kevin McCallister, Harry and Marv when they all left.

Wilson Koewing lives and writes in Marin County, California.